Hero

Coach tells Thom that he cannot be on the team because his seizures are a liability to the school.  I have never been in a situation where my health was a liability to the school, but I feel as if I would be really frustrated.  I feel as if I would not know what to do especially if it was a sport that I played my whole life.  My parents would take it hard to because I know they would miss being able to see my play a sport that I loved so much.
I believe Ruth was telling Thom that he needs to do what he wants to do now because you do not know what is going to happen in the future.  If you do not know things that make you happy, you might not ever get the chance again.  For me, I can't think of anything off the top of my head that I am waiting to make me happy.  I know that once I am done with all my school papers, readings, and finals, I will be happy that it is summer though.  To be in charge of your own happiness, you need to live life to its fullest at all times.  If you want to be happy, do things that make you happy, and don't care what other people think.
I believe that a majority of people have the opportunity to really feel like they mean something to do the universe.  I really think it happens to those who take the opportunity to let people show their appreciation.  For me, I think it would happen at a softball game, if I hit a game changing ball or make a game saving play.  I would defiantly gain more confidence about what I was doing, that's for sure. 
I believe the perfect first kiss would be with someone you truly think you could spend the rest of your life with.  Now, no one can tell that by the first kiss when it happens, but I think once you look back after being in a relationship and remember you first kiss, it could be considered perfect.  I think it is possible to achieve, you just do not know it at the time.  And who hasn't had a small crush on a famous figure? I mean, with Channing Tatum, Ryan Reynolds, and Josh Hutcherson out there, how can you not? I think we have these crushes because a majority of the time, we do not think that the guys around us look like that.  They look perfect on TV or in a movie, and we cannot get past that in a way.

Reflection #10: Back to 7

For this blog, I decided to go back to reflection #7 where we go more in tune with the universe.  Since I have had a couple rough weeks since getting back from spring break, taking time to meditate was something I decided to try again.  With a rush of homework, projects, exams, and finishing my student teaching application, I was anxiety filled.  I knew I needed to do something before I had a small nervous break down.  I decided to sit in my room with all the lights off and the TV off.  I knew I would have complete silence because my roommate and quad mates were in class.  I sat on the floor with my legs criss-crossed.  The first time, I only sat there for 5 minutes before I got up.  That 5 minutes did wonders though.  I felt like a weights has been lifted off my shoulders.  About ten minutes later, I wanted to sit in silence again.  It's something about being in my room surrounded with books that makes me anxious.  This time, it was for a good 15 minutes, and I swear I fell asleep.  I know I said in my last reflection about this that I would try to do these meditations semi regularly, but I never had the idea of doing them really until these past few weeks.  Since I have been back from spring break, I have probably sat in silence with my eyes closed at least twice a week.  It makes me feel so much more relaxed.  Even if it is for a little, it's almost like I have more time to myself when I do these things. 

Reflection #9

I feel as if I became my hometown hero, I would want to wear my every day clothes, jeans and a t-shirt that is.  I wouldn't want people to know who I was, so I would probably wear a mask of some sort.  I wouldn't want the recognition from people if they knew I was the hometown hero.  I feel as if dressing in every day clothes would be a simple idea because then you fit in with everyone and don't have to stand out.  That is what a hero is to me at least, someone who can look the same as everyone, but still puts their life on hold to help people.

I think what I would want to do for my hometown was to stop the people who are breaking into houses.  Majority of the time people like to break into garages or houses of people that they think are out of town.  I would need a lot more people for this, but just having people know that there are others watching out for you would be nice.  It would also have the criminals a little weary I think, especially once one of them is caught.  Helping homeless people would be on my list too.  I do not see many walking around in my neighborhood, but for the few that do need the help, I would help them too.

I don't know which hero from the film I identify with most.  I feel there is no one set hero, but I do know that I would want their guts to be able to do something like that.  Be able to go out in towns, dressed up, helping people.  It takes a lot more than it would seem.

Reflection #8:

I can't think of any situation where any of my core beliefs have been questioned.  I just feel as if one of them were, it would depend on what is was to decided on what I would do.  I'm sure I would be furious and that I would probably do something that I would regret later.  I'm usually not one to get extremely mad over things and most of the time, just shrug them off.

If I was a mutant that could hide my power when desired and fit in, I feel like that would be cool.  I feel as if I would go around town just randomly saving the day.  I feel as if I would want to read minds if I could have a power that I could hide.  If I was a mutant that could not hide my power, I feel as if I would be an outcast.  I would feel as if I would need to be a loner.  The connections I would make for a mutant that can hide their power would be those people that everybody likes, the athletes.  The most real life ones that cannot hide their powers when I think of it, are those who have disabilities.  Although some can hide them, many can't.  They get attention that they don't want and want to fit in with everybody else.  

Reflection #7: A Mix of Things

After the first exercise I felt relaxed.  I chose to do this exercise in the middle of doing homework.  I decided to do this because I thought it would help me focus again.  I noticed that once I was done with the 15 minutes, I felt like I was rejuvenated.  I could see myself having silent meditation every so often when I am stressed during the week to help me settle and be able to finish my work.  The second exercise, I noticed that whenever I was doing the body scan, I noticed a heart beat in that specific area.  This exercise made me felt relaxed also, but a different relaxed because I had different thoughts in my mind when we had to think of the different emotions.  The two addiction activities I chose were to hear a dog barking, which instantly make me think of my two puppies back at home and made me miss them even more.  The second activity that I chose was a scent, and the scent that I chose was my boyfriends cologne that he wears, which is one of my all time favorites, Abercrombie and Fitch's Fierce.  This made me wish I was back home and able to spend more time with him.

I think that almost all of my friendships are considered pleasure and utility.  I enjoy being around my friends and spending time with them when I can.  I have had a majoriry of my friendships since before I entered high school and we are still friends to this day.  I also think this because we all benefit from each other.  We help each other and know that we are there for one another.   Me and my boyfriends relationship/friendship is still considered pleasure probably too just because of the fact that I still have a lot of growing up to do and because I am still learning.  Maybe one day in the future I can see it becoming a virtue relationship, but right now, it isn't.

Reflection #6: Creativity

Being an only child, I had to be creative and use my imagination.  I remember one time on a Sunday, I remember that because my uncles were over and they came over every Sunday.  I wanted to go camping, but I couldn't..  Instead, of going outside though and making a tent, I decided I want to camp inside.  So I cleaned my room, pushed my bed to the side and set up my 101 Dalmatians tent in the middle of my room.  Of course I wanted it to be night time out, so I shut all my windows and turned the light off.  I dragged my sleeping bag out and brought a pillow inside my tent.  To get a "fire" I set up "logs" made out of paper and threw crumbled up newspaper around a flashlight.  This is just one amongst many of things that I did to have fun as a child, but probably one of my prouder moments.

Lately though, my creative side doesn't seem to want to come to light.  Yet, when I am in a pickle, it's like everything comes to my mind to get me out of this pickle.  When I went home this past weekend, my mother, who wants to believe that she can still give me a time to come home and I'll listen, told me to be home by midnight.. Now, I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I agreed instead.  So once I strolled in at like 2 after being dropped off, of course when I went to say goodnight and that I was home, I got the small talk of, "where were you?, why are you late?"  So, like any time, like I was in high school, I would say that I lost track of time.  It doesn't work anymore, so after an elaborate story of why I was late, she was completely confused because of everything I said, so she just told me to go to bed.  Now, this wasn't a problem, but it got me out of having to end up doing the dishes the next morning before I left to come back to school.  So win, win for me I guess.

I have recently watched Iron Man 2, again and thought that the final scene where Iron Man and Lt. Col. James Rhodes are fighting the villains and when they have defeated all the minions of Ivan Vanko, Iron Man and James Rhodes decided to aim their lasers at each other, like a previous scene, and use it to blow up Ivan Vanko in his whiplash looking costume.  I thought this was creative because they both used something that they did not know could happen until they also killed one another in the first place.

Reflection #5: Importance

      For this, I thought it would be a good time to connect with one of my best friends from high school again.  Throughout the past few years, we had a falling out due to me being away at school, not talking as much and just a bunch of petty things.  Upon hearing about this blog in class, I knew who I was going to call.  I decided to call Shell on Saturday night when I knew she would be home.  I could tell when she answered the phone she was worried, not knowing what I was calling for.  I explained that I was in a reflections course where we had to tell someone how much they mean to us and how we appreciate them.  Instead of waiting for a response, I just went right into telling her how much I appreciated her friendship over the years and how much she has done for me.  I didn't know how far I was supposed to go into this conversation, seeing that, I probably would have rather done most of the talking face to face.  I decided to include things that I knew she probably didn't remember, like all the pep talks we had before softball games, or all the notes we used to pass during high school.  Her reaction was something I was not expecting, frankly, I was expecting her to just be like okay, yeah, we'll hang out when you get home and all this other stuff.  Instead, after I was done with my talking, I could hear a faint cry on the other side.  This was something I was not expecting, and if you know me, I am not one to 1. Express my feelings and 2. Console someone who is crying.  I am horrible at it, and being my best friend from 8th grade till the beginning of college, she knew that.  Calling Shell was someone thing I never thought I could bring myself to do, we have tried talking things out every so often, but it ends in the same place, we say sorry, say we'll hang out and then it never happens.  This time it was something different though, maybe it was me being more open about my feelings and letting her know how I feel or just because we both were having a bad week.  Either way, I am glad I got the opportunity to call her and tell her how much she has meant to be over the years.  It truly is the little things in life that make you happy.

Reflection #4: Fiction Suit & Nostalgia

     The other day, I'm walking down the street, minding my own business, listening to music.  I'm on my way home from my friends house when I have an weird feeling as if someone is following me.  My first instinct is to turn around and as I do, I see a shadow figure walking a few feet behind me.  I think nothing of it, but as I start to turn down my block, they proceed to follow me.  As I turn back again, I am pushed forward, as my phone and bag are being ripped from me.  As I am sprawled out on the grass, I look up to see another shadow figure swooping in in-front of my robber.  All I can see is the red and blue of his costume.  As I start to get up, I see Superman standing in-front of me with my belongings.  As I start to say thank you, all he responds with is, "Be Safe".


     Yesterday I was on my way back to school from a weekend at home.  As always, about an hour into my drive from the suburbs, my normal radio stations turn to static.  I searched for my iPod and connected with my AUX cord, and of course the first song that comes on is "Chicken Fried" by Zac Brown Band.  My first reaction, was of course, to sing, but then a small lingering memory comes to my mind.  All I can remember is introducing this song to my best friend throughout high school, and him looking at me like I was crazy.  As I remembered this memory, or experiencing nostalgia, all I could think about was all the times that we hung out.  I started to remember all the inside jokes we had and all the movies we watched and all the weekends we hung out.  It was a nice escape from reality and from the 2 hours of driving I had ahead of me.  As this happened, as soon as I had an opportunity, I texted my friend and told him what happened.  This sparked a conversation, which in fact informed my future because this morning, I woke up to a text with a random song lyric, just like old times. 

Reflection #3: Free Write

     Through the readings this past week, I am learning more and more about things that I like.  Superheroes aren't really anything I talk about with my friends, but with the readings we have been given, I find myself opening up and freely talking about Superman and Batman randomly throughout the day.  I even find myself texting my friends from back home with little facts that I have read, if it's about identities of Superheroes, or how they were originally and even little facts that I already knew, I always manage to be adding one in a conversation.  Most of the time I get responses like "That's cool!" and even, "Stac, I don't care", yet, I still do it.  I feel as if finding all these little facts has made my liking for Superheroes increase.  I have always liked them, but now that I know so much more than before, it's like a have a new respect for those behind them. 

     Batman is my ultimate favorite Superhero, yet, I find myself starting to like Superman more and more.  Superman is "opposite" compared to most Superheroes, mainly because of his secret identity concept.  I don't remember if I have seen a Superman movie or not, but I feel like if I do watch one, I would understand more of what is happening.  Learning more about Superman gave me a different way to look at him, a new respect in a way.  He's one of those Superheroes that you're like, he's so much like us, he's boring.  In one of the articles, that was stated, how Superman is boring in a way.  I think that if you just look on the outside of the comics, you can see that.  Once you read more into his background, I don't think you have to agree that Superman is not in fact, boring at all.

Reflection #2: Secret Identities

Superheroes are always faced with a tough decision, but their morals always stop them from doing the wrong thing.  Superheroes always have the opportunity to kill those who are doing wrong, but instead they choose to bring the villain to the authorities so they can pay for what they did.  From the discussions in class, I see that taking the "high road" in this case, is always better.  I may not always do this because I do get in enough arguments over little things that could easily be looked over with a simple "sorry".  This is obviously not compared to killing a villain, but in my life, I can see the negative from the arguments I get in.  I am a true believer in karma, and in the case of the superheroes, if they do end up killing a villain, there will be something that will effect their life in a negative way.  In my case, I can remember times where after getting into little arguments, that I was bit by karma.

Secret identities for superheroes are important.  If a superhero lets their identity slip, there could be a negative impact on their life.  A villain could hurt someone in the family, or a friend, or even a loved one.  To superheroes, their secret identities are a way to let themselves still live a life outside of saving the world. 

In one way or another, we all have different identities.  If it is being a daughter, or a friend, a student and so on.  They may not be as secretive as a superheroes, but we all have different fronts we put on for different people.  Negotiating between these identities are easy because you know how you can act in front of different people and how some people expect you to act.  I feel as if the identities that I have go hand in hand though.  I think that everyone's go together in a way that makes them though.  If I did not have the identities that I have, how would I act?  Even, would I be the person I am today?

Reflection #1: Favorite Superhero

     I feel as if when I was growing up, I always veered towards Batman.  I do not know if it was because my uncles always talked about him or because I actually liked watching him on TV.  I can tell you now that, Batman is my favorite superhero.  I mean, I have seen the most recent movies that have came out and I like all the other superheroes, but Batman just has captured my liking in a different way.  Liking him just seems so natural, someone who actually worked for what they wanted.  Batman, I think, holds my interest in a way that no other superhero really has.  Having seen such a tragedy as a child and being able to keep his promise to himself though everything else says something.  

     As a child, I remember running around town with my best friend and saying things like, "I'm Batman, you're Robin" and then getting in arguments because we both wanted to be Batman.  I still remember dressing up for Halloween one year and being one of the five Batman's in the classroom.  It never failed that someone always wanted to be the "real" Batman and everyone else was just copying them.  Although, I don't dress up anymore at Batman on Halloween, or even when the newest movie comes out, I still manage to go to all the midnight premieres because it helps me relive my childhood in a small way.

     "What would Batman do?"  I feel as if I had a problem now in my life and I had to deal with it like Batman does, I would probably fail.  Batman has such a restraint to what he does to help people, where as for me, it would take so much more effort to restrain myself from doing something stupid.  I take things too literal and am more willing to take my anger out on people that do no deserve it, where Batman is able to only take his anger out on people who deserve it for being a villain or doing something bad in his eyes.